Penny Dreadful is a Magnet for Disaster

My name is not actually Penny Dreadful. It is Penelope Jones. The 'Dreadful' bit is my dad's JOKE. But I do not see the funny side. Plus it is not even true that I am dreadful. It's just that sometimes my BRILLIANT IDEAS don't work out completely brilliantly. Like, I didn't mean for my cousin to end [...]
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My name is not actually Penny Dreadful. It is Penelope Jones. The 'Dreadful' bit is my dad's JOKE. But I do not see the funny side. Plus it is not even true that I am dreadful. It's just that sometimes my BRILLIANT IDEAS don't work out completely brilliantly. Like, I didn't mean for my cousin to end up bald and covered in superglue, and I also didn't mean to steal our neighbour's dog and make him speak Russian...It is not my fault. I can't help it - I'm just a Magnet for Disaster.